Posted by
Edward L. Daley on Tuesday, August 29, 2006 4:39:24 PM
Are you a conservative? If so, have you ever asked yourself why you
sometimes feel obliged to inject painfully obvious statements into your
debates with liberals? Here's what I mean. Suppose you're arguing in
favor of
criminal profiling at airports with a radical leftist, and you're
making the point that most
international terrorist groups are comprised of Muslim men between the
ages of 18 and 40. Immediately following that statement you find
yourself saying something like: "Of
course, that doesn't mean that ALL Muslim men in that age group are
terrorists." You mention this even though you know that the little
voice in
the back of your mind is about to say: "No Sh**, Sherlock! Did you
figure that out all by yourself, or did you have to consult a
five-year-old first?"
Sound familiar?
I recently caught myself engaging in this very same sort of
behavior,
while trying to convince a Vichy-American (aka liberal) that
stopping
the flow of illegal aliens into our country is a necessary prerequisite
to all other immigration reform measures. I related that before you can
put a cast on an arm with a compound fracture, you first need to stop
the bleeding, or the patient will die in spite of your best efforts. I
stated that the U.S. is hemorrhaging resources like a stuck pig in
order
to accommodate the millions of illegal immigrants who've entered our
country in recent decades, and that the influx of these people must
be halted before the drain on our economy becomes too overwhelming for
us to
deal with. Then, due to what I now recognize as being reflexive
conditioning, I said:
"That doesn't mean I'm against LEGAL immigration, mind you."
The first thing the little voice in my head had to say upon hearing
that remark was: "Hey buddy, you'd better hurry up... it's
'Chutes-and-Ladders' night at the happy-home, and you're running late."
Indeed, I had walked right into that one, and
all I could say to my inner-voice in response was: "Sorry... I don't
know WHAT I was thinking."
After the initial wave of embarrassment had passed, it occurred to me
why I'd said so superfluous a thing. If I hadn't distinguished between
the words legal
and illegal when I did, my liberal adversary would have started
lecturing me (in that wholly condescending way that only liberals can)
on the fact that my
ancestors had been immigrants, that immigrants like them built this
country, and that immigration... blah blah blah... yada yada yada...
At that moment I felt as if the mere act of engaging him in
conversation was draining me of my common sense. It was
like some ravenous, IQ-sucking tapeworm had been released into my
cerebral cortex, causing me to blurt out redundant phrases in much the
same
way that a tourette's syndrome sufferer shrieks obscenities...
suddenly, and for reasons undetectable by the casual observer.
Shortly thereafter the concept of 'Obligatory Political Correctness
Syndrome' was born.
Like 'Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder' (ADHD), the term
'Obligatory Political Correctness
Syndrome' (OPCS) is indicative of objectionable behavioral trends
prevalent in modern American society, however, it is
conservative-specific and it is not treatable with
Ridalin, Adderall, or any other FDA-approved drug.
Nevertheless, a cure is now at hand!
Having recognized the warning signs of
OPCS early, I took immediate
measures to rid myself of its disabling
effects, and so can you. Yes dear friends, there is hope for each and
everyone of you out there who still suffer from this most insidious
disorder, and I encourage all who read this article to share it
with as many conservatives as humanly possible.
The four-step process for combating OPCS is as follows:
Step One - Read the book 'Muzzled' by Michael Smerconish. This volume
really kicks political correctness where the sun don't shine, and will
help you to get your mind geared correctly as you continue along the
path to a pc-free life.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/159555050X/103-5479135-2481450?v=glance&n=283155
Step Two - Listen regularly to ultra-conservative talk radio programs
like the ones listed below. No undertaking I can think of will better
reinforce the lessons you learn from the previous step than this one.
Laura Ingraham - KLUP Radio - 9am (est) Weekdays - On-line broadcast
available at http://www.klup.com
Rush Limbaugh - WMAL Radio - Noon (est) Weekdays - On-line broadcast
available at http://www.wmal.com
Howie Carr WRKO Radio - 3pm (est) Weekdays - On-line broadcast
available at http://www.howiecarr.com
Mark Levin - WABC Radio - 6pm (est) Weekdays - On-line broadcast
available at http://www.wabcradio.com
Step Three - Practice discussing the issues described in the opening
paragraphs of this column with a fellow conservative, but ask him to
pretend that he's a liberal. This role-playing exercise will help you
to emotionally prepare yourself for the absurd rhetoric you'll
inevitably get from real leftists in the future, while you attempt to
avoid responding with equally absurd OPCS-corrupted statements.
Step Four - Avoid liberals like the plague for at least 6 months. If
exposure to left-wingers is unavoidable during this period, simply wear
a button on your clothing with the following words printed on it in
both English and French: "I am an Iraq War veteran. Ask me what I think
about the mainstream media." The chances are extremely good that no
leftist will come near you, and when conservatives comment upon it, as
they surely will, simply hand them a copy of this article.
Now, I know this last step will be difficult for many of you to
accomplish, since you probably enjoy humiliating left-wingers in heated
debates. However, until you've built up a natural immunity to OPCS by
following the first three steps, the likelihood is high that you will
continue to succumb to its negative influence upon your psyche. I
cannot stress more strongly how important it is that you not allow
yourself to be lulled into a false sense of wellness during this, the
final and most critical stage in your recovery.
Remember, liberalism is itself a mental disorder, and sadly, one for
which there is no known cure. Suffice it to say that you're not going
to convert any hard-line lefties to conservatism, regardless of how
many
facts you confront them with, so don't worry about missing out on the
opportunity to deprogram one of them in the
immediate future. To paraphrase an old saying about horses: "you can
lead a liberal to
truth, but you can't make him think." Keep those words etched indelibly
in your mind as you navigate through the troubled waters of OPCS toward
the welcoming shores of conservative sanity.
Remember, the weakest link defines the integrity of the chain, and we
must all work together to assure that the chain of conservatism remains
strong for future generations. Of course, some of you may need added
assistance along the way, and anyone who does not feel that they can
overcome this dreaded affliction alone is encouraged to call the OPCS
support line at the following toll-free number:
1-800-POLITICAL-CORRECTNESS-IS-A-MENTAL-DISEASE-AND-IT-MUST-BE-STOPPED-BEFORE-IT-GETS-US-ALL-KILLED
Operators are standing by.
By Edward L. Daley
Founder of the Conservative Convention 2007 Project
http://cc2007.us